I hate my job and my job hates me

March 3, 2021

I work at a hospital, hereafter to be called “That Place.”

I am not a doctor. I am not a nurse. I am not a tech. I am not a medical assistant. I am not a certified nursing assistant. I AM NOT A HERO!

I do patient registration the ER. I’ve been doing this job for about 4 months and so far things are not going well. Several of my coworkers are difficult to work with (the reasons why vary). Frequently the patients are unpleasant but at least they have a good reason for being irritated, they are sick or in pain.

Often the work load is impossible. When I’m up front the patients come in waves and I’m not fast enough to get them registered before they go to a room. This make me feel incompetent. When I’m in the back I have to run around to the rooms and try to get information and money from patients. This makes me feel like a jerk. Often the day’s work has a bad impact on my knees, hips and back. However the biggest downside to the job is that it barely feeds my family and doesn’t feed my soul. But at this moment the choices I have are few and they all lead to worst places than the one I’m in.

All of this leads me to admit that I hate my job. However it is becoming increasingly clear that my job hates me. What I mean by that is that my job is actually doing me harm.

It is hurting me physically. Because of the nature of the job I’m on my feet rushing around throughout the hospital emergency department. Sometimes I’m almost running. A couple of weeks ago I twisted my right knee. My right knee is already damaged because of arthritis. But pushing around terminal on wheels is certainly not helping. also because I have to get up at 3 AM to come to this job work is hurting my sleep. That is having some larger effects on my health.

This job is hurting me mentally. The constant exposure to the pressure of an emergency department that has to function with decreasing amounts of staff and resources is taking it’s toll on me. My attitude is in the toilet. I hate the idea of going to work every morning. I’m experiencing more depression.

This job is hurting me spiritually. It is robbing me of my joy in life with God. I am seeing more and more cynicism creeping into my daily language. I am seeing the growth of a negative attitude that is not feeding my faith. The job is starving my greater gift. I feel that they are atrophying from lack of use.

This job and I need to part company. The only question is how fast can I make that happen.

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